How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
