I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
