My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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