my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
