we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
