You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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