So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
