Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
