please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
time to smoke my breakfast
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
