it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
