We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
