At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
