this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
