I got chris browned last night
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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