If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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