whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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