So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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