Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
