i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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