oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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