I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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