we're blogging at a bar
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
