I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
