Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
