and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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