so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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