that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
