i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
