it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
you never un-have a 4some
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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