Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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