I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
if only i could text you this smell
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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