There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
