Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
