All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
