Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I had to cum in my sink.
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