that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
