Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
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