okay pat passed out under dana's car
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
