You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
