did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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