And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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