I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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