If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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