never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
