i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
