another moral hangover. fuck.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize