So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
