Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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