And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
