The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
