If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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