Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Where is the hickey?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
