I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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