she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think i peed on brittanys purse
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
