New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
