is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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