i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
