your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
