Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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