There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
