Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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