If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
