He uses pillows to masturbate.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
