Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
