She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
