we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I am spending my child support on dildos
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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